children

Day 257: Hot Air Balloons & Dervishes

We were going to get up our first morning for the rising of the hot air balloons over Goreme, and then we didn’t. We tried our second morning, and again, it didn’t happen. Our last morning it finally happened. We had planned on being out of our guesthouse by five in the morning, made it out by five thirty and still had time to spare before many of the balloons were inflated and rising into the air. Surprisingly we were two of only a handful of people up and on top of the ridge overlooking the town that early. It was quiet and peaceful and a magical way to start the day.

It was really quite mesmerizing. Watching so many balloons inflate and rise up into the sky. We counted up to ninety, but we’re positive we missed some so we’ll just round it up to there being at least one hundred in the sky. A few facts about the balloon rides (and why we didn’t partake in one): Each balloon can carry up to about twenty people. The ride is less than two hours. The starting price for some companies is 200 euros. Not even dollars. euros. Needless to say, I was totally content watching from below instead.

A few hours later, we were walking around Konya, a town famous known for being the birthplace of the infamous whirling dervishes. There isn’t much to do in the town aside from a few architectural sites and a weekly dervish ceremony. The town isn’t exactly on the tourist route, and it’s known to be on the conservative side. We decided to swing through to break up our trip back towards the coast. We were going to spend the night, but then we saw how much hotel rooms cost and changed our minds. Instead, we arrived in town early in the afternoon and bought tickets for the midnight bus to Pamukkale. We stashed our backpacks in a locker and headed into town.

Obviously, we’re not Turkish, but we haven’t felt like we’ve stood out in Turkey the way we stood out in the middle of Laos or Uganda. Suddenly though, we felt like we were getting stares. Not reproachful stares, but lingering looks nonetheless. I had pants on, and a scarf around my neck, no exposed shoulders, and I was even wearing proper shoes. It wasn’t me.

“I think it’s your shorts. And maybe your flip-flops.” I whispered to Andrew, as we walked through a park where everyone seemed to take interest in our passing through. No man was wearing shorts. And in the entire day that we were there, I saw only one other person have sandals on. The attention was strange, and got curiously entertaining as we stood outside the Ïnceminare Medresesi eating ice-cream. It’s one of the three things to do in town. Mostly for the intricately carved door.

We didn’t bother going inside the museum, instead sitting out front eating ice cream and watching everyone enjoy their Saturday afternoon. And then… a group of girls approached us. They asked our names, where we were from (in very little and broken English) and then if they could take a picture with us. We laughed a bit, but agreed. There was a group picture, and then each one took turns posing with us. This was somewhat interrupted when two older boys came up, and asked if they, too, could take their picture with us. One was from Senegal and the other Ghana. They were in Konya studying for six months. Our photos with them were interrupted by another Turkish dude who I think got in the same picture with the kid from Senegal. I asked the group of girls if I could take their picture, they readily obliged.

And then, another group of girls took over. A little bit younger and a more adorable because of it. They giggled. They asked us the same questions in the same broken English. They took turns squeezing in between me and Andrew to take pictures on their mobile phones. They readily posed for a picture for me (unfortunately my polaroid was back in the bus locker for the afternoon) and then they pointed to their cheeks to say goodbye.

Andrew didn’t get it immediately, but I did and immediately bent down to touch cheek to cheek. With all three of them. Then one pointed to her cheek again and then to her lips. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and her friends circled back to me for one as well, and did the same to Andrew, who followed suit. They made sad faces, clearly not wanting us to go, while we tried to get away as smoothly as possible, not understanding (AT. ALL.) what the fuss was about. Regardless, it was the sweetest interaction we’ve had in Turkey so far and as always, any interaction with local children (who aren’t trying to sell us anything) always makes my day.

We headed to the Karatay Müzesi after our five minutes of fame in Turkey and I was again delighted with the tile work. Say what you will about the Islamic faith, but damn they know a thing or two about interior design. Especially when it comes to a madrassa.

Andrew and I agreed that we’d like to have a living room designed with the same aesthetic. You know, in our studio apartment in New York, we’ll just add a few domes, tile it and boom: our own private madrassa/living room.

Now, about these dervishes. Perhaps you’ve heard about them. The dudes who whirl. I thought it was a performance, before setting foot in Turkey. Even as you wait in line for the Ayasofia, pamphlets are handed out with ‘showtimes’ for dervish ‘performances.’ This is not really the case at all. A dervish is someone who follows a more specific Muslim path known for poverty. They are the sadhus or monks of the Muslim faith- in Turkey. The whirling began when the founder heard music in a market and felt so spiritually connected that he began to whirl. The birthplace is here, in Konya.

What used to be the dervish lodge and mosque is now the Mevlâna museum and mausoleum of Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi, a Sufi mystic also known as Mevlâna or Rumi (aka the founder). It was CRAZY crowded full of mostly Turkish pilgrims and a few foreign tourists like us checking it out before the free ceremony at night. Not only was it crowded, but it was like the pilgrims there (mostly big groups of older women and their children) had never been outside of their hometown before. There was pushing. Bumping into. Complete disregard for anyone trying to read an information plaque or peek inside a small room set up as a museum display. You know in basketball when you take a charge, it was kinda like that. Only my opponents were my height, twice my size, and were leading with their chest, not their shoulders.

Our ‘timeout’ wasn’t any better. We watched a Chinese tourist photograph two women sitting down for nearly ten minutes as they giggled and avoided eye-contact with the man behind the camera. He didn’t even acknowledge them after he photographed them. Instead, he stood up and reviewed his images on his LCD screen (without showing the girls) and walked on to photograph other women sitting nearby. Photographers- or anyone with a camera for that matter, who have complete disregard for their subject get under my skin. It reflects poorly on anyone with a camera. Acknowledge who you are photographing, especially if it’s so close. Thank them, if you can’t in their language, at least with your eyes. And show them what you captured! We had to leave because I couldn’t watch him anymore.

A few hours later, we were standing outside the auditorium being shoved into a single door to the Dervish ceremony. One door for an auditorium the size of a small baseball stadium. No ropes. No line. Absolute zero order. There was open seating inside, and as we arrived a half hour early, we were able to find a seat with relative ease. I wanted to see this ceremony specifically because I thought it would be less touristy and more true to its origins. The auditorium filled up rather quickly and there weren’t enough seats for all of the audience members. And despite the announcement mostly being in Turkish, the part about “no flash photography” was clearly emphasized in English.

Unfortunately, this did not stop half of the audience from whipping out their iphones and ipads to take pictures and videos with their camera light on the entire time. After the ceremony had started, audience members continued to stand up waving their friends and family over to where they had seats saved for them. Everyone continued talking. Five minutes into the ceremony, an entire row of Turkish men got up in front of us and left. Then another group of Turkish men slid into their seats- for maybe ten minutes, before they too, decided the ceremony simply wasn’t for them and left. At one point one man a few rows up stood up to talk to his seat-mate, standing, during the whirling. He was facing the audience having a conversation with his friend while everyone struggled to see around him. It was a Korean wedding. In other words (if you’ve never been to a Korean wedding) it was a series of old women walking down the aisle, shoving the bride aside, so she could sit down where she wanted. At one point, a plastic chair fell down the steps, essentially echoing throughout the hall over the music and the quiet, mesmerizing whirling. It. was. bananas. And it was not because of rude foreigners because we were surrounded by groups of Turkish women and Turkish men. Rarely were they mixed, sitting together.

Aside from the (beyond obnoxious) audience faux pas, the ceremony was beautiful. The music, especially the singing. The whirling. It was all beautiful. Unfortunately, we think the ceremony ended earlier than usual and we think it was largely due to the audience and their lack of… care. We both agreed that we were glad to have come, we had a surprisingly interesting afternoon in Konya and it was still interesting to see a dervish ceremony that was not disguised as a performance. However, now I’m somewhat keen on seeing one of the touristy performances out of curiosity if the audience would be more respectful or not!

Day 205: Ilha

Mozambique Island is known as Ilha de Moçambique in Portugese and is often referred to as Ilha (the ‘h’ sounds like a ‘y’ in Portugese) for short. I was in love. Our room opened up to the guesthouse’s sunken pool. We ate breakfast on the rooftop overlooking the shore and the thatched roofs covering the rest of the island. It was safe. It was quiet. It was the perfect respite after the hectic journey it took to get here. We decided to extend our stay from the start, because it was so calming, but also because Andrew’s foot and ankle continued to swell every time after every long bus ride. We thought a few days off of the public transport would help the healing process.

It had stormed the night before. Little did we know, it would be our best night of sleep on the island thanks to the temperature drop and cool gusts of wind that blew in our room all night. In the morning, puddles were everywhere.

I was going for an empty shot of this intersection, and then these two girls stopped at the end of the street to pose. I gave them the thumbs up sign after I took the image above and they waved and continued walking home from school. I couldn’t decide which picture I liked more, so I’m putting them both up.

Still elated we could walk around Africa freely, we continued to do just that and whenever I was asked to take a picture, I pulled out my Polaroid and surprised them with a print of the picture they had just posed for.

Sometimes I drew quite the crowd, so I started drawing the line at giving out two (maaaybe, sometimes three) prints at a time. Two young men saw the second crowd I had made and probably got the wrong impression of us because of it. They thought we had money, and they thought we would be interested in going on one of their boat tours that they offered to any and all tourists they met on the island. We politely declined, and told them we were satisfied walking around the island. They asked the usual questions, but did not give the usual response:

“You don’t have a home?” They were incredulous.

“No… our home was in South Korea… but then we quit our jobs and now we are traveling before we move back to the United States… So… for right now, no, we don’t have a home.” Andrew tried to explain.

“How can you not have a home? You must have a home!” The one said in complete disbelief. Andrew and I laughed.

“But if we had a home… how could we afford to travel to so many places…” I tried to reason with him.

“Your family, do they have a home?” He asked.

“Of course, they have a home… but it’s not our home…” I replied, and tried to explain further, “We have backpacks, so right now, our backpacks are our home.” I smiled. He gaped. But with this explanation, he seemed to come to the conclusion that he probably wasn’t going to get any business out of us and him and his friend said goodbye, assuring us that they would see us again later.

They did, right after we bought a big bag of popcorn from a vendor on the street. I’m assuming no one buys the amount of popcorn we did, for she was completely surprised when we held up four fingers, hoping to get four (not the requisite one) cups of popcorn each. Her son was upset, crying on the sidewalk next to us. We tried to offer him some popcorn to console him, but he wasn’t having it. She picked him up and he immediately calmed down. I whipped out my Polaroid. She was speechless when I produced a print of her with her son after.

We found the restaurant the cleaning lady at our guesthouse recommended. Somehow, in Portugese, we managed to order shrimp, grilled fish, something unidentifiable (we later learned was grilled banana leaves and cashews) and a huge bowl of coconut rice. It was delicious. While Andrew settled our bill, two girls were dancing just outside of the restaurant, and asked for a picture when they spotted my camera. As you might be able to predict, I pulled out the Polaroid, and made them wait while I pressed print. As soon as one of the girls figured out what was happening, she began jumping up and down and shrieking with absolute glee. Like Shinee just walked into my former middle school or maybe Justin Bieber walked into an American (or Canadian?) middle school. She was so. excited.

As soon as I handed one print over to her, she raced into the restaurant to show her mother. I tugged on her best friend’s shirt to show her that I was printing another one for her. As soon as it slid out of the camera and I handed it over, she was jumping up and down with it and raced after her friend still screaming inside the restaurant. Aside from the giraffes and multiple zebra encounters, it was the happiest moment I’ve had in Africa.

I’ve tried emailing and even tweeting Polaroid about the effect their camera has had on those who I’ve photographed along this trip, thinking surely they would be interested to hear about it, or maybe use it for some marketing maybe? But, they don’t seem to be too interested because I’ve yielded no response.

Day 52: There were LOTS of leeches.

We decided on this trek, because friends we met and went trekking with in Sapa, Vietnam raved about it on Facebook. After some private messages, I really wanted to give it a go. Tony warned us it would be difficult, about the community shower, and leeches, but said it was totally worth it and a much more satisfying experience than the one (which was still great) we all had together in Sapa. White Elephant Adventures is a bit on the expensive side when it comes to trekking ($50.00 per day) but you trek to more remote villages, that other companies do not visit (getting a more unique experience when interacting with the tribes), and when we met to discuss our booking, small groups and multiple guides (if more than three people) were emphasized. I was relieved. There were too many people on our previous trek in Sapa, and it felt like a hostel room when we slept in rows of beds, not even with the family we were supposed to be "home-staying" with.

Day 2 of our trek was HARD. We were told it would be an intermediate trek, and all of the pictures we were shown had a clearly marked trail in the background, so I didn't hesitate planning on having my DSLR slung over my shoulder (outside of my backpack) for the trek. (Our daypacks are not exactly big enough for camera gear AND three days worth of trekking clothing). This was a huge mistake. Day 2 was advanced. Which would have been fine, had I been prepared (with camera secure in backpack and more appropriate shoes) and it would have been a LOT more fun if our primary guide stayed in view of everyone to show us where to go in the middle of the jungle- not on a trail- but scaling a dried up river bed full of leeches, slippery rocks, rotting trees, and lots of sticker bushes. It was still rewarding, and the second village proved to be an even more amazing experience than the first village, but White Elephant Adventures will not get as glowing of a recommendation as I would have liked to give it on TripAdvisor.

We left Long York around nine in the morning and our trek started out innocently enough, crossing small creeks and walking on trails through some overgrown fields. But then it got complicated. Lee was hungover or couldn't be bothered, but homeboy went FAST and there was always 100-200 meters spanning between him and Jimmy who brought up the rear. Today was the most difficult for me because I was almost always in the middle of the pack, so we weren't sure the best way to maneuver rocks, or we were too busy staring straight down at our feet to keep from falling, that at least I felt, I couldn't appreciate how awesome my surroundings were. Oh, and then there were the leeches. At one point I was in the middle of the dried up river bed, fighting off leeches, while Sabina and Anya waited at the top of the river bed, and Andrew, Sarah, and Jimmy (the other guide) couldn't even figure out how to reach where I was. I'm not going to lie, I was more than a little nervous to feel so detached from the group. At another point, I was trying to catch up with those ahead of me and got stuck and pierced in a sticker bush so badly I couldn't move and had to wait while Andrew removed thorns (one that went in and pointed out of my skin) from my arm. By the end of the day, my arm was so badly bruised, it would have been more believable had I pointed to Andrew if someone asked me what happened.

We arrived in the next village super early (big surprise at the speed we were going) only to discover one more leech on my ankle, and lots of very timid children, who acted as if they had NEVER seen a foreign face before in their life. It's up to each guide as to which village he will take a group. They might not have actually seen foreigners for awhile… And after asking Lee, I found out that he was not Tony & Raquel's guide two weeks before. (Which may explain a lot in our slightly different experiences and feelings afterwards.) More shy than the previous village, the children of Ka Lau Kong always followed, but kept a safe distance from whatever you were doing, or where ever you were walking towards. Unless you took their picture and held up your camera for them to see. Then they would rush and surround you looking at their faces on your screen. Without your camera ready, "playing" with the children made for a fun, yet unintentional game of tag. We never won. I'd like to believe the children were more amused than terrified, but it was sometimes hard to tell.

The village shaman was in the midst of performing some kind of ceremony within the house of a family who just welcomed a new baby into the world!

Interacting with the village children was clearly one of the highlights of the trek. And then, I had enough courage to whip out my new Polaroid/digital camera. I had ordered the camera over the summer, but it wasn't released until the week we left Korea, and only shipped within America. Momma sent it to Hans, and we were able to pick it up from the post office when we visited him in Vientiane. I was too nervous to break it out in the previous village, because there were only children around, and I simply couldn't print enough out to make sure each child got a picture. In other words, I didn't want a fight to break out. But in this village, we walked past an older couple, surrounded by children, and I quickly embraced the opportunity. The first picture I took was of the older gentleman surrounded by children, and then his wife asked for a picture of the two of them, and then she asked for a picture of me with all of the children.

Giving her those pictures was hands down, the most touching part of this entire trip so far. She couldn't take her eyes off of the pictures and just had this huge smile on her face the whole time. We quietly slipped away as she kept looking at them to see if we could find some others who would appreciate a printed photo or two, but most others weren't back from the fields yet, and then it was too dark to go explore.

After a dinner of sticky rice, the same vegetable soup, and roasted duck (that was killed, plucked, and boiled practically right in front of us) we were all beat. We were staying with the teacher in this village. We slept not with his family, but in a house (barn, really) next door. We're not quite sure who the older man was who lived there, and were again anxious to get the mosquito nets up because of the spiders that once again came out of the woodwork. Literally. We split up into two groups of three and slept on two bamboo platforms. It was surprisingly not terribly uncomfortable, that is, until the roosters piped up at 1:30 in the morning, then again at 3:30. It was deafeningly loud. When I climbed out from under the net around 7:00 it made perfect sense (um, not at all) that three of the roosters were walking around INSIDE the barn we were sleeping in. Needless to say, It was not the most restful night of the trip so far…

Day 39: Angkor Wat

You would probably think that the day we would go to Angkor Wat would not begin with three hours working in a coffee shop, but it did. We spent the morning and a bit of the early afternoon working, instead of waking up to see the sunrise over Angkor. Our friends (and as was the case in the past) said that there were SO. MANY. TOURISTS. there for sunrise, it didn't sound like a pleasant experience to me at all. So we left for Angkor Wat somewhere between 2 and 3 in the afternoon and casually made our way through the temple. We stopped often to sit and take in the view or people watch. We climbed up to the top only when there was no line. And then we got kicked out at closing and we were able to just as casually make our way out with much less of a crowd around. Fact: Temples are much better sans tourists (especially of the group variety). Also, a quiet sunset is much more lovely than a loud sunrise.

Did you know that Angkor Wat is the largest Hindu temple complex in the world? I didn't. I also didn't know that it was dedicated to Vishnu (a beautifully preserved statue is in one of the main entrances to the complex, as you can see above), the Hindu god also known as the 'preserver of the universe.' I refused to buy a book on Angkor Wat this time around, because I have a feeling I bought exact same one four years ago, and it is currently sitting on one of my shelves at my parents' home- so I had to rely on the internets to jog my memory of the history of the complex. According to Wikipedia, much of the construction (by King Suryavarman II in the early 12th century) is based around Hindu mythology but in the late 13th century, it moved to Buddhism, as it currently stands today. Not to get super religious on y'all, but I think it's fascinating that a Hindu temple can change to be a Buddhist one. Does that happen with other religious sites without war breaking out? I tried several times to get into a World Religions class in college, but it would always fill up before I had a chance to register. I'm anxious to read more about Buddhism and Hinduism (especially before we hit India) so if you have any suggestions, please let me know!

Monkeys roamed outside of the temple, trying to sneak water and plastic bags away from tourists. Inside of the temple, people were everywhere. The most frustrating part is wondering what it is going to be like in another four years… I shudder just thinking about it. I don't remember the top of the temple being open for visitors when Jane and I were there last, though, and it was fun to see a new view of the complex and have a more intimate visit with the bas relief sculptures when most of the tourists cleared out near closing time.

I was especially drawn to the bas reliefs of the apsaras and devatas. These dancing girls or nymphs are derived from Indian mythology- again, I love how an Indian myth was incorporated into Khmer architecture. 

On our way out of the temple, a man standing guard in front of an altar asked if I wanted to bow in front of it. "For good luck!" he called after me. For good luck AND a dollar, I wanted to respond. Instead, I held up both wrists clad with good luck strings and said "I have lots of good luck already!" and he smiled. I was relieved and glad to walk back through an almost empty temple, mostly so Andrew could have a feel for what it was like. Hoards of tourists distract me. (I'm working on this) I don't like how much it takes away from the immensity and/or beauty of a place when people are bumping into you or yelling out to their companions. In the halls and standing outside the walls sans crowd, it's easier to feel small and in awe of what kind of work went into the structure so long ago, and how well it's held up over time.

Outside of the complex, we were immediately confronted by a 10 (maybe 12?) year old boy selling post-cards with a t-shirt on that read "I could be your son." "Where did you get that shirt?" I asked him, laughing at his unique um, marketing skills? He shrugged, yet with a smile in his eyes I could tell he was little amused that I was calling him out on wearing it to a tourist site to sell postcards. "Shouldn't you be playing or studying or something right now?" I asked him. "I studied this morning. You want postcards?" He responded, possibly rolling his eyes. I have to admit, four years ago, children were EVERYWHERE begging for money, selling bracelets, drawing pictures for you in hopes of a tip. Now, the only children you'll see are strictly selling either post-cards or bracelets. It felt like progress, even though they obviously shouldn't be selling anything at all…

One child vendor worked the "downtown" streets of Siem Reap selling bracelets and roses. Her name is Linda, or Srey Neang (I might have the spelling wrong on her Cambodian name) and took a liking to Andre, and then me and Andrew. Linda is 12 years old, speaks English really well, and has more spunk than any 12 year old I've ever met. She was out every night, and would usually spot us eating and come up to our table, not asking if we wanted to buy a bracelet, but instead would chat with us and more likely than not, call Andre out on his late night antics at Angkor What? bar. Over the four days we chatted with her, we learned that she lives with her mother, grandmother, and sister. Her mother sells mangoes. Her father died, though we're not sure when or how. She wants to be a teacher when she grows up, and sadly, her friend was ran into by a car while he was biking home one of the days we were there and did not survive. To say our hearts melted when she told us was an understatement.

Again, I wrestled with the "Do I break down and buy a bracelet (or her whole basket of bracelets) or not?" conundrum. I didn't. She didn't seem to mind, and was content playing with my hair and hugging on me, which was sweet, even though part of me felt like an asshole for not "helping her out" even though in the back of my mind I know it's not necessarily helping her at all… Or would it be? See… It's hard. What would you do? My concerns were calmed seeing how well Linda was looked after. If she dropped a bracelet, a waitress at the nearest restaurant would come over and pick it up for her, and they rarely shooed her away from tables when she was chatting with us or trying to sell to others. One night, a policeman snuck up on her and took her roses out of her basket. Andrew and I felt terrible we didn't see him in time to warn her to hide. She told us not to worry, that he would give them back to her an hour later.

Day 29: One last day at Little Po

We made it back to Little Po for our last day at New Futures. I think both Andrew and I were a little more prepared for our heartstrings to be pulled, and we were prepared with a lesson plan of our own (we taught about different types of jobs), but we weren’t exactly prepared for the sad goodbyes, the hugs followed by “Teacher, Can I kiss you?” or the letters that were stuffed into our hands before we climbed into the tuk-tuk to head back to the volunteer center.

Andrew and I taught a class on our own today. I think the students knew I had brought pictures I had printed out from our Friday visit, so they were very enthusiastic about taking pictures with me and with their friends. (Which was super fun, but now I have to get them printed in our next town and send them back to Jake to take out for me!) The class was great. We began the class by asking what jobs they knew, and the most popular job was a “superstar!” When I asked what a superstar was, they shouted out “Michael Jackson!” They also surprised us by shouting out “undertaker!” I suppose it’s a pretty universal job, but still…

During the lesson, I was sitting down with a group of girls sharing their worksheets. We talked about how Andrew and I lived in Korea, and then about my iphone, and then about how white I am. Too white. (I mean seriously, if you want to be blinded, take a look at my legs above. Can you even believe I’ve been traveling around for a month now, and I’m still that white? It’s mostly because I’m terrified of getting 3rd degree sunburned. again. As I usually do at least once when my skin isn’t used to the sun, let alone the scorching sun in SE Asia!) They gently patted my thigh, completely amazed at the color of my skin. And then they were horrified (and perhaps equally amazed) when I said I was “too white” and I wanted to be like them with their beautiful, rich, darkly tanned skin. Oh how the grass is always greener…

During our coffee break time, I gave the friendly coffee lady a picture that I took of her at her coffee stand. She looked at it at first like I was giving her a random picture, then she realized it was her and her face broke into this huge smile, and then she realized I was giving it to her and it really made her day. She was ecstatic. It was amazing. On our way out, she motioned to her grandchild for me to take a picture of her before we left. I had our students explain it was our last day, but I would send the picture to her in a few days. She smiled and said many kind words to us in Khmer and broken English. It was touching.

We went back to the class, and listened to some more songs, and more thank you’s from the students, and said our goodbyes. Team, the teacher is a complete doll. He thanked us profusely for visiting, and teaching, and said that we were so generous (we were there for four hours) for visiting. It was really a lovely experience to feel so appreciated by not only the students, but also the teacher as well. I had Team write down his address for us, so I’m hoping if I send post-cards to him for his class of 190 students, they can follow along just like Johnson Elementary is following along. They don’t have a computer out at Little Po, but Jake said he might be able to set Team up with an email address soon if he starts going to the volunteer center before or after his English class in the center of Takeo.

“This is REAL Cambodia” Jake hollered over the motorbike engine. And yes, he’s right. It’s dirty. There are cows, pigs, sometimes trees growing in the middle of the dirt road. Tiny stores hold bananas, plastic flip-flops, and bags of chips all tied up in plastic bags hanging from the wooden rafters of the wooden hut. Men and women swing from hammocks in the shade during the hottest hours of the day, while naked children run out to wave and scream “hello.” It’s dirty and it’s beautiful, and I had to remind myself I had a year of beautiful (and probably dirty) experiences to go when I felt a wave of sadness that I was leaving this one experience behind.

Day 8: “What do they expect when they give me two sticks to eat with?”

I assured Andrew I would be ok and I didn’t need to spend another afternoon in bed, “I mean, the worst that can happen is I have to poop in a rice paddy. or my pants. I guess pooping my pants would be worse.” Andrew seemed to think I would make it to a rice paddy. And off we went. First, to ask our adorable guide, May, if I could stop at a pharmacy at the beginning of our 15K trek. And then, down the mountain.

iphone day 8 10.JPG

With about thirty other tourists, and what felt like an equivalent of Black Hmong women, we began our trek down into the valleys, walking between rice paddies, and through the villages. The scenery was beautiful, my stomach was (for the most part) staying in check, and the women gamely answered my questions about life in a Black Hmong Tribe, even when I asked bluntly “So, do you like being married?” They gaped at me, as if I were the first one to ever ask. Maybe I was, but from what they answered “liking” or “disliking” being married isn’t really an option. They just are. married.

Andrew accuses me of having a certain, shall we say opinionated tone when I discuss women’s roles in different cultures. He’s right. I do. But, I’m working on it. I’m going for that “Oh, what’s that like? Women not being equal in your culture?” curious tone instead of my “Oh no you didn’t just tell me women are lower than men!” sassy tone that usually comes across. It’s hard for me not to get a little feministy when I’m speaking to a Muslim tour guide in South East Asia’s largest mosque and he tells me “Women don’t ask such questions!” or in this case, when I’m chatting with a 17 year old girl who is married, 5 months pregnant with her first child, and leading a 15 K trek.

In my head I thought back to when I was 17 and what I was doing. Graduating high-school and moving away to go to college. How fortunate I was, right? But then I gently remind myself that her life is different than mine, her culture is different than mine, and I should not judge. And when I do judge anyway, I try to re-channel the judging into gratefulness. It makes me really glad I’m an American girl (although we do have a long way to go) and really glad I’m no longer an employee of a South Korean company (school).

So, I chatted with May, our tour guide, about life. She said she enjoyed answering questions much more than leading a tour with people who didn’t talk. It gives her a chance to practice her English, learn new words, and likewise learn about different cultures. She was (is) awesome, and it was super interesting to chat with her. I learned that girls typically marry between ages 15-20. While their parents sometimes arrange their marriages, they are also allowed (in some instances) to say “no” and she readily acknowledged that women do much more work than men. Men’s duties revolve around the farming and only the farming. Women’s duties sometimes include farming, childcare, cooking, cleaning, and even selling goods to tourists or leading tours around Sapa. May also divulged that she doesn’t like “happy water” as it hurts her head the next day. “Happy Water” is what everyone in or around Sapa called rice wine. Think of it as bootlegged soju, if you will. Made in the homes, a Kiwi living in Sapa told us there’s no way to know the exact proof of the liquor.

Throughout our chat, as we descended the mountain, Black Hmong women walked with and around us, helping us cross streams, making straw animals for us, and generally asking us the same three questions over and over and over again.

1. What’s your name? or Where you from?

2. How old are you?

3. Married?

Obviously I fell into the old maid category. Almost 30 and unmarried. (Oh the shame!) “But you are from a different culture!” The sweet 17 year old pregnant one responded. I was struck by her open-mindedness after five years of being asked “When are you getting married?” in Korea.

As we sat down to eat lunch, we were surrounded. The same sweet Black Hmong women turned into aggressive vendors pulling miscellaneous handmade wares out of their bags. It was frustrating, yet heartbreaking at the same time, especially when their children would come out of the woodwork trying to sell what their mothers undoubtedly shoved in their hands, pushing them towards us. It also became quite the bonding experience for everyone on the tour. We traded stories with the South African/Portugese couple, the French couple, and the Brit who was chopstick challenged.

After lunch, we walked first to a school in the village, and then just a few kilometers more to the village where our home-stay was located.

With a few hours of free time, we entertained ourselves by chasing down missing shoes the home-stay dog would steal, and giving some curious children some of our trail mix. They weren’t exactly expecting the “soy wasabi” flavored almonds, but then greedily stole and practically licked the inside of the bag. Later, these same ruffians surrounded us on a rice paddy wall and flung dirt on us until we fled for the safety of our cameras and clothing that we had to wear the next day.

Now, sorry to compare, yet again, but four years ago the home-stay was with a family of three generations. The grandmother sorted seeds, while the mother made dinner, while the two Aussies and myself played with the children. Today’s home-stay experience felt more like a hostel conveniently located in the loft of a barn. We weren’t entirely sure who lived in the home, who was visiting, who was leading tours, but the food was good, even if Michael (the Brit) had an entertainingly difficult time eating with chopsticks. And we all fell into fits of laughter when he made the comment about eating “with sticks” as we took note of the rice scattered around his bowl on the table. The “happy water” a bit too strong for the majority of us, we took turns slinking off to the loft to sleep on dirty (mine was quite smelly) mattresses.

Lesson #3 learned from traveling around the world: Maybe it’s not such a good idea to buy and wear barefoot shoes for the first time when going on a 15K trek. Oh for the love of calf muscles! 

Lesson #4 learned from traveling around the world: Don’t pick the mattress closest to the stairs after a 15K trek. The one in the back, the furthest one away is bound to be less used, therefore, less smelly.